“I know exactly what you should do.”

“What is the worst relationship advice you’ve ever been given?”

I’ve asked thousands of women this question. Women who stayed a little too long. Forgave a little too much. Overlooked a few too many red flags. Women who held onto hope. Who believed love conquered all until the data of their daily lives forced them to believe otherwise. Women who thought time would heal all wounds. Women who thought they could love enough for two people.

Despite the public cry that people give up on relationships too easily, my work as a toxic relationship specialist shows that people often don’t…


I’m getting married.

Yep, me.

The woman who felt like love was “for everyone else.”

After a divorce I never thought would happen and MULTIPLE failed relationships, I am wearing the ring, picking out the dress, and making my best friend my husband. He is the most peaceful place in my life. He has seen the worst in me and somehow still believes the best of me. We eat, we laugh, we travel, we parent, we tell secrets like school girls and can’t keep our hands off of each other. We are quite simply happy.

It feels too good to…


The New York Times #1 best selling author Gary Chapman helped change millions of couples’ lives with his book “The Five Love Languages.” Chapman explains the fact that different people feel loved in different ways — some prefer acts of service, others gifts or physical touch, while some people prefer quality time or my personal favorite words of affirmation.

But, what about narcissists? Do they follow the rules of these love languages or do they have their own set of rules for feeling “loved?” If you have ever had a toxic partner, parent or friend you probably gave and gave…


The books, the blogs, the YouTube videos, the obsessive googling, the online support groups, the grey rocking, the no contact, the crying, the complaining, the worrying, the rehashing of the same problems over and over and over.

Does this sound way too familiar? Yep… me too.

It’s exhausting even reading that sentence much less living that life! …


The books, the blogs, the YouTube videos, the obsessive googling, the online support groups, the grey rocking, the no contact, the crying, the complaining, the worrying, the rehashing of the same problems over and over and over.

Does this sound way too familiar? Yep… me too.

It’s exhausting even reading that sentence much less living that life! …


Have you ever walked away from a conversation wondering “What the heck just happened?” Have you ever worked with someone who seemed to be able to explain away their behavior and flip everything around to make it your fault? Have you ever loved someone who changed the facts around so drastically that you felt like you were living in a maze rather than a marriage?

Then you probably resonate with the Dixie Chicks latest song “ Gaslighter.” The song reminds us that there are really people out there willing to “lie lie lie lie lie” to get their ass farther…


It’s obvious that my main man Meatloaf wasn’t in a toxic relationship, because unfortunately toxic people convince you to do ANYTHING for love. They convince you to:

-beg for forgiveness even if it wasn’t your fault.

- lower your standards. And, then lower them again, and again, and again.

- pretend things didn’t happen that obviously did.

- change your look, your friends, your interests, your hobbies, your everything.

-pretend to only be interested in the things they are interested in.

- become dumb…because their opinions and ideas are the only ones that matter.

-shrink yourself so their wants and…


“Not everyone who is self-centered, self- absorbed or exhibits low empathy is a narcissist. Some people are, in fact, just jerks.” -FB User

I came across this statement on my FB feed and it made me stop scrolling through the endless pics of my friend’s children (He’s pooping in the potty!? How exciting!) and really start thinking. How would I help someone decide if they were dealing with a narcissist or just a jerk? Is there a way I could clear the confusion in twenty words or less? …


Dear Waiting,

I hate you. I loathe you. I despise you! I want to make up new words to express my disdain for your continuous and unwelcome presence in my life — words that drip with anger and poke through your barriers of protection. Yet, no matter what words I choose you never seem to go away. You bring your friends Patience and Someday and together you mock me. You mock my concerns and fight my friend Optimism. Your efforts to invade my life are relentless. You can’t seem to get the hint that I

don’t

want

you

around!!!

My…


Dear Beautiful,

I get it. I know you aren’t the type of person who gives up easily. I know how important the relationship is to you and I know you think if you wait around long enough he will become the man you hope he can be. The man you get glimpses of. The man he acts like in front of others. I get that you’re loyal. That you recognize he’s been let down by others and you think his behavior now is a result of his horrible childhood. I know you hope your love will be enough to fill…

Sarah K Ramsey

Toxic Relationship Specialist who helps individuals and businesses navigate high conflict personalities and avoid burnout. sarah@sarahkramsey.com

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